V. Read online

  V.

  by Emily N. Kay

  Copyright © 2020 by Emily N. Kay

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Cover: istockphoto

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Epilogue

  Also by Emily N. Kay

  The Unexpected You

  The Irony of Us

  Saving The Girl

  Chapter 1

  Josh

  I watch V’s pinched face as she drags her gaze across our dinner table, her eyebrows drawn together in distaste.

  “Anything wrong?” Frank jokingly says.

  “Everything, Dad. Everything,” Violet retorts.

  I roll my eyes. “Here we go again.”

  V shoots me a look and turns to Frank again. “Yesterday you said you’ll try one vegan dinner with me!”

  “I said I will… Didn’t say when.” Frank shrugs.

  “Then when?” She throws her head back, her long ponytail brushing the back of her chair. “Ugh! What more can I do to convince you? All of you!” She sits up straight to look at me, to my mum, then back to Frank. “Eating plant-based foods does not only benefit your body, it also—”

  “Sustains the planet, less animals dying, yada yada yada,” Frank finishes for her. “I think we’ve all heard enough, Violet.”

  “Apparently, not enough to convince this family,” V mutters, still eyeing the middle plate with four racks of grilled lamb in disgust.

  “Jesus, is my daughter in a cult?” Frank chuckles, looking at me and my mum for support. “Can someone tell me when did this happen again? When is the exact moment my daughter decided to become an anti-meat, anti-dairy, anti-gluten, anti-wheat, and who knows what else cult member.”

  I almost answer him, Kyle fucking Rogers, that’s when.

  V shakes her head in defeat. “Whatever, Dad. You’d never get it.”

  Mum shoots Frank a look before turning to V. “Ignore your father, Violet. I do admire your efforts. Really, I do.” She smiles—the kind of smile that is reserved only for V. “For the life of me I could never go a day without a splash of milk in my coffee. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

  At that, V’s eyes almost pop out. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you guys! Meg, listen, you can’t just turn vegan overnight! It’s not just a diet, it’s a—”

  “Lifestyle.”

  “Lifestyle,” I say, the same time as Frank.

  Our eyes lock and I have to bite back a smile.

  Mum lets out a tiny smile, her gaze meets me briefly. We exchange amused smiles.

  “Anyway.” Frank claps his hand once. “Let’s eat, shall we? The meat is getting cold,” he announces as he transfers a portion to Mum’s plate, another to mine, and then to his own.

  V is now looking at the one rack of lamb on the plate and scowls at Frank. “You know I would never eat that.”

  I glare at her. “You should be grateful, V. We are lucky we even have food on our table at all. Besides, the damn thing’s still dead, isn’t it? Might as well,” I say, knowing full well how that would tick her off, but I just couldn’t help myself. Not when I know who made her this way… Kyle fucking Rogers.

  V’s eyes widen, her lips parted, but no words come out.

  Was that too mean? Although I realise how insensitive that was, still… I don’t apologise. Why should I? She should be the one apologising. For how she’s been acting lately. How she has changed. All because of that bastard and his dickhead friends.

  Mum raises her brow at me disapprovingly. “Josh, you know it’s her choice not to eat meat. It’d be nice if you could respect that.”

  “Thank you, Meg!” V exhales. She whips her head to me with her lips pursed. “I thought you of all people would understand! Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m making myself dinner.” She pushes her chair back, and in a flash, she disappears behind the kitchen.

  I can hear stuff being pulled out of the fridge—probably some frozen berries, kale, coconut water—all that typical shit she normally uses to make a smoothie.

  I don’t make eye contact with either Frank or my mum as I slice the meat. Look at how juicy this is! Why can’t she just fucking eat it like a normal person!

  It’s not the fact that she’s turned into a meat-hater that pisses me off. Not exactly. It’s the little things, little changes, that add up—the way she dresses, how she spends an extra ten minutes just to curl her hair in the morning, how she rarely comes to my room any more…

  I know she is growing up. I get that. But I miss the old V. The V who would cling to me whenever we went outside, never letting go of my hand. The V who was so proud to show me off to her mates, telling them I’m her big brother. Not that I like hearing that but… it is what it is.

  V comes back with a vibrant green smoothie in her favourite mason jar (why would anyone want to drink anything from that thing I’ll never understand). Her mood seems to have lifted as she sips on her drink. That’s the thing about V. She never stays in a foul mood for longer than three minutes. It’s actually one of the many things I love about her.

  “So, Dad…” she starts cheerfully, her irritation from earlier has completely disappeared. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” V bites her bottom lip. She always does that when she’s anxious about something.

  Frank looks up, his eyes narrowing. “What is it?”

  “Well… you remember that I’ll have to work at that smoothie place I told you about soon, right?”

  “Mm hm.” Frank nods, still looking suspicious. “And?”

  “So, I’ll be super busy then, and—”

  “Just get to the point, V,” I interrupt her, wanting to know what it is she wants.

  She looks at me and smiles mischievously before she turns back to Frank. “Can I go to the Gold Coast tomorrow? Please?” she asks, her eyes sparkling with hope.

  Frank is about to say something when I blurt, “What? With who?”

  V gives me a look that seems to say, you still need to ask? “My friends, obviously.”

  “Boys or girls?” Frank’s brow furrows. Mum gives him a weary look but says nothing.

  V is quiet for a moment before she replies, “Stacey will be there.”

  I unwittingly scoff. “Great. The vegan cult leader will be there.”

  “And who’s going to drive you all?” Frank asks.

  “Kyle’s brother will drive us. And before you say anything, Jonah is nineteen and he has a license,” V says. “Josh also knows him! They’re in the same class, isn’t that right, Joshie?” She turns to me, expecting me to help.

  I snicker. “Yeah… Not a very bright dude. Got held back a year.”

  V shoots daggers at me. “What does that have to do with anything!”

  Mum sighs before she finally speaks up, “I’m sure the boy is fine. The beaches there are beautiful. I’m sure you’ll have a good time.” She smiles encouragingly, which brightens V up instantly.

  “Exactly!” she beams.
“What would I do without you, Meg.” V looks at Mum with so much adoration.

  Mum smiles, saying to Frank, “Just let her go, Frank. Don’t deprive your daughter. She’s only young once, you know.”

  I swallow back my panic as I watch Frank’s thoughtful face. No, please don’t say yes. Please don’t say yes…

  “It’s just a day trip, Dad. I’ll be home by seven,” V says pleadingly, practically bouncing in her seat. Her smoothie is all gone now.

  Frank sighs. “It’s not like I can stop you now, can I?”

  V immediately lets out a squeal. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She gets up and crosses to Frank, kissing his cheek and hugging him from behind.

  I watch it all unravelling with horror. V is going to the Gold Coast with Kyle Rogers… They’re going away together. Away from me. They will surely do… stuff together, and I won’t be there to keep an eye on her. I won’t be able to stop them.

  Before I know what I’m doing, I feel a jolt of pain in both of my palms that I realise my nails are digging into them. I unclench my fist and hope to God no one notices how worked up I am being. I cut my meat and continue eating.

  After V went back upstairs to her room to pack, the three of us are now finishing off the last of Cole’s Vanilla Ice Cream, each of us holding a tiny spoon. A year ago, V would have helped us finish it. As in, before she decides dairy is the enemy of mankind.

  “So, Josh,” Frank begins. “Have you heard anything back from U of Syd?”

  I shake my head as I scrape off the last of the ice cream from the container. I can’t afford to think about the scholarship now that V is packing for the Gold fucking Coast. One thing at a time—that’s all my mind can handle right now.

  “Huh. Well I’m sure it won’t take long now,” Frank assures me.

  I feel mum’s gaze bearing down on me, but I don’t look up to meet her eyes. I know what I’ll see in them. Conflict. Resentment.

  “I hope so,” I mutter back.

  Mum clears her throat. “Frank, have you told him? About our trip?”

  I snap my gaze at her. Trip? What Trip? And when will she stop addressing me like I’m not even here.

  “Right.” Frank sits up and clasps his hands together, his face turned semi-serious. “Josh, your mum and I have been planning our anniversary trip to Thailand. Turns out the cheapest tickets we could find were for us to leave the day after tomorrow. So I want to ask you to help out at the shop, is that okay? Unless, you know, you already have plans for the summer.” He looks at me expectantly.

  I process what I just heard in my head. Frank and Mum are going away. Which means… I’ll be home alone with V. We’ll be hanging out—V and I—lounging around on the sofa, watching reality TV and dumb soaps. We’ll laugh at how stupid they all are. She’ll come to my room, lying on my bed, reading her book, and just be there. With me. Just like the past summers when we were young. Just like old times.

  I realise Frank is waiting for my answer, so I nod. “Yeah, sure. I can work at the shop.”

  It’s perfect. I can work at the shop while V is working at that smoothie bar. At least I won’t be stuck at home, thinking about her all day, waiting for her to come home. At least this way, I can stay busy, my mind occupied.

  “And we expect you to take care of your sister, okay?” Mum says.

  I stop the urge to correct her, step-sister, Mum.

  V is not my sister. Regardless of what other people might think or see, V can’t be my sister. Because you can’t be in love with your own sister…

  I muster a faint smile and look at my mum in the eyes. “Sure.”

  Chapter 2

  Josh

  The first time I met Violet, she was nine.

  V was not a beautiful kid. She used to have a noticeable gap between her front teeth. Her hair was always messy, uncombed. Obviously, she wasn’t as pretty as she is now. Puberty did her good now that she’s fifteen—almost a full-grown woman. Almost.

  As I’m looking through the open door—into V’s bedroom—where she is now putting on a black, strapless bikini top that matches her bottom. I can’t help but notice how her breasts have grown over the years, and I have to marvel at how skinny she is—all bones, no fat. All the plant-based foods she’s been consuming must have sucked all the fat right out of her body. Still… she looks beautiful. Her tanned skin glows in the places where the sun kisses her.

  In my defence, I did not intend to look. But it’s hard not to when I walked past her room and she’s… there. And I mean, she could have closed the damn door! It’s like she wants to be watched or something.

  V is now putting her chestnut-brown hair into a ponytail in a quick motion. Then she smirks at herself in front of the mirror as though she knows full well how beautiful she looks. How perfect she is.

  I can’t look away.

  And to think that Kyle of all people will get to be by her side all day today, touching her hand and doing God knows what else, it’s making my blood boil and I feel like smashing things.

  I wait until she finishes putting on a sheer, white dress that I dare to knock lightly on the door. When she turns, I push the door open, taking it upon myself to stride in.

  “Joshie!” Her smile grows, her white, straight teeth showing. No longer a gap-toothed girl.

  I make a show of sweeping over her body—at how the thin dress does nothing to conceal her skin. “Don’t you think it’s a bit…” I pause, meeting her gaze. “Much?”

  Her smile is now gone. “We’re going to the beach, for God’s sake. This isn’t much.” She puts a hand on her hip, defiant.

  I’m about to tell her to change the dress when my eyes catch something on her stomach.

  She seems to know what I’m seeing as she quickly folds her arms over it.

  “Seriously, V?” I pull her arms apart to take a closer look at the shiny, metal ring on her belly button.

  Knowing she is caught, V looks at me pleadingly. “Please don’t tell Dad.”

  “How? You’re barely sixteen!” I cry out.

  She grimaces. “Kyle knows the guy there…”

  Of course it’s Kyle fucking Rogers.

  I sigh, fuming. “Since when?”

  V flits her gaze down. “A few weeks ago,” she answers, her voice quiet.

  “Why? Kyle made you do it?” Saying the guy’s name out loud makes me want to hurl. “Or is it Stacey?”

  She gapes at me. “No one made me do it! I wanted to do it, and Kyle just went with me! And what’s wrong with a fucking piercing! I don’t even know why you’re making it into such a big deal!” she snaps. Then she goes on stuffing some towels and clothes into her beach bag.

  I blink at the outburst. Why is she mad at me for being concerned? She must know that I’m merely looking out for her. Right?

  It must be puberty, I decide. Lately, everything I say seems to have pissed her off. She must be lashing out because of the hormones. I mean, teenage girls… What do I expect?

  With that in mind, I say, more gently this time, “I’m sorry, V. It’s just… I feel like everything is changing. You are changing. You’re growing up so fast. And sometimes it’s just… hard to keep up with you.”

  V looks up at me in surprise. Her anger seems to have dissipated a little. “Now you just sound like my dad,” she notes teasingly.

  I hold her gaze. “I’m serious.”

  She sighs, then walks over and wraps her arms around me, placing her cheek against my chest. And I pray so hard that she won’t notice how fast my heart is beating.

  “You’ll always be my big brother, Joshie. And I’ll always be your little V,” she says, her voice muffled against my body.

  That makes me smile a little. The familiar, sweet scent of her shampoo brings back so many memories. I hug her back, stroking her soft hair, careful not to over-do it.

  When she finally lets go of me, she says, “What’s your plan for the summer anyway? Apart from working at the shop, I mean.”

  I look at her, c
areful not to give away the look that says, I want to be with you! “You know me, V. I never have plans.”

  V snort-laughs. “You seriously think I’ll believe that? I know you can’t wait to invite Caitlin over! I mean, it’s not every day our house is parents-free.” She flashes me a mischievous smile.

  Right. Caitlin… My “girlfriend” Caitlin. How did I forget about her? It’s actually terrifying how little I think of my girlfriend as compared to how much I think about my step-sister.

  “I’m not sneaking her in, V,” I say drily.

  “Why not? I won’t tell Dad and Meg a thing, I swear. Well, only if you won’t rat on me when I bring my friends over.” V giggles.

  I block out the last part, not wanting to think about fucking Kyle and his fucking crew any more than I have to. “I’m not having Caitlin over,” I repeat.

  V furrows her brow. “You know, sometimes I wonder why you’re still with her.”

  You don’t want to know the answer to that, I think to myself.

  She goes on, “At first I didn’t want you anywhere near that girl, but now I’m like… Jesus, I really feel bad for the poor girl. It’s like you don’t even like her! And it’s been, what, two months? Two months. And you’re still playing hard to get.” V shakes her head in disapproval.

  “I’m not.”

  “You’re leading her on, mate.”

  I want to tell her that Kyle is most likely doing the same thing to her, but I bite my tongue. “Since when did you care about Caitlin anyway?”

  “I don’t! You know I can’t stand her. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel sorry for her. Besides, I don’t want her going around saying my brother is a huge jerk.”

  The thing with Caitlin is… she doesn’t get it. I never asked her to be my girlfriend—not officially anyway—and yet she always acts like she is. I was never the one to go for a kiss first, never the one to come up with plans, and yet… she has no clue I’m not into her. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to admit it.